A Different Birthday

Posted on September 8, 2019 by matt ballou under Life

Normally on my birthday I try to take some time to myself for reflection, good food, and maybe some limited frivolity with friends. This year I wanted to try something different.

Parenting is hard. The logistics of family life is hard. Everyone is in different emotional and physical states. So while I do take my kiddos out for play in the park and do other things very frequently, it’s been a long time since I got one-on-one time with each of the kids.

About 9am on my birthday, I got started. CaiQun and I visited B&B Bagels, just about the best real bagels west of the Mississippi. She loves her plain bagel with plain cream cheese… to each their own, right? Then we went to look at LEGOs and talk about building things. It was a sweet time with a daughter who often has to shout at home to be heard, but who is quiet and calm when she gets some quality time one-on-one.

*MeiMei was pleased to get to hang out in B&B and do some reading and chatting.*

Next it was Miranda’s turn. She has been asking to go to the Library for some new books about cats and baking, two of her passions. She’s been watching some of the baking shows available on Netflix and has gotten the basic concepts down. She wanted to get more focused understanding (she often over-applies sugars and under-applies flour!), so we searched for some books (“No, daddy, ADULT baking books!”). I steered her away from volumes on French Cooking (talk about delusions of grandeur), but she settled on some good stuff. Then we got her some frosting application bags. Needless to say she’s been very pro-dad for the last 24 hours!

It was now a bit after lunch time, so I decided to take FangFang out for a meal at Panera, one of her favorites. She got mac&cheese and a fruity drink while I opted for a large salad. We chatted a lot about food, food-eating techniques (“I like to double-fist it!” she exclaimed), and potential future meals we might have. This is a girl who definitely likes to eat. After that we had a fun walk around the mall, observing and commenting on many things.

*FangFang demonstrates the “double-fisting” technique.*

Last but not least was Atticus. He is so excited about all things water these days… and often we come into a bathroom or walk past the cat dishes to see that he has flooded a portion of the room. I knew this caring, curious boy would love some time on a local river in one of the several nature preserves that dot Mid-Missouri.

*Atticus had so much fun chasing minnows and crawdads in the shallows.*

*So much joy in this little guy’s eyes while on the river.*

Capen Park, which is a section of the Grindstone Nature Area, features a nice cliff climb that even little kids can do and access to the river for exploration. It was great to be able to give my boy 2+ hours of self-directed play on the water and rocks.

*Atticus loves doing some rock climbing… and he was careful around the edge of the cliff (whew!)*

It was a FULL day – basically 9am to 4pm of consistent activity. I think I’ll hold onto these memories to help me through rough patches… hell, even today I called them up to help me regulate when the kiddos were having some fits.

I’m sad a lot these days. All things are stranger and harder than I thought they would be. But I am blessed and fortunate. A day like this one, taking the kiddos out on individual dad-dates, was really necessary. It was good for my heart and it was good for theirs, too. Each of them has talked to me about their special time. Glad to know I can still do something right.

Now if I could just feel as triumphant as Atticus does here, spreading his arms out at the top of the cliff…

I definitely won’t wait until my next birthday to do this again. A good start to #43.

Happy 92nd Birthday, Mr. Diebenkorn!

Posted on April 22, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life, Writing

It’s Richard Diebenkorn’s birthday today. It’s a good time to remember:

* First seeing his work at the beginning of my undergraduate education.

* My daughter’s first viewing in the Cincinnati Art Museum.

* Getting to write about Diebenkorn a few times… and being recognized for it.

* A great trip with Marcus to visit the Ocean Park retrospective in Texas:

* And checking out great new books that seem to be coming out every year!

37

Posted on September 7, 2013 by matt ballou under Life

I love how my birth announcement directly contradicts scripture:

I also enjoy how mystified my dad appears in this picture with me from those early days of my life. I have many times felt the way he appears to feel in this picture… I guess I feel this way more and more now. When this picture was taken my dad was almost exactly the age I am now. Strange perspective.

This year has probably been the most strange, hard, and upheaval-filled since I got married a decade ago. I’m not sure what to say. I have seen and done amazing things in just the last 6 months. But I’ve also been shown my limits and frailties in so many ways. Here’s hoping for a year of becoming a better husband, dad, teacher, artist, and friend. God knows I could use some remediation on all of these things.

She Knows What She’s Doing…

Posted on August 18, 2013 by matt ballou under Life

…even though I usually don’t. There’s a lot behind that sentiment, a lot of innate ability and hard-won skill. And there’s grace and faith working in her – so much going on beyond the surface. I’m so thankful for this woman. To think that on this very day 6 months ago we were standing in a government office in China and meeting CaiQun for the first time. In that 6 months Alison has fully become mom to two. In spite of all of my failings, she makes this family run.

3

Posted on August 13, 2013 by matt ballou under Life

My daughter Madeleine CaiQun is 3 years old today. From north central China to the middle of America, she’s had a huge life journey so far. What a strange, beautiful, inspiring blessing you are, Mei Mei. XOXOX

The Coat

Posted on September 7, 2012 by matt ballou under Art, Life

When I turned 18 in 1994, my mother gave me a Swiss Army Trench coat, also called a Greatcoat. If you poke around on eBay or other vintage and/or Army+Navy stores you can often find these high quality coats for $75 or $80; mom got this one for something like $10. They’re all fairly old – mine is around 45 or 50 years old. It’s definitely been the most enduring body-covering item I’ve had, robustly surviving throughout the years with only some minor modifications. Gotta love those official Swiss cross buttons!

Here’s my coat hanging on the door of the Alaskan Oil Konvenience store where I worked for several years before and during my undergraduate time. This shot is from 1997, just a few years after first getting the coat, taken with my father’s ancient Minolta SLR.

Above: Self Portrait with Halo, acrylic on canvas, 8 by 10 inches, 2000. There’s that coat again – obviously I’ve built some sort of persona around it. Forgive my self-aggrandizement. I can still remember the day in my dorm room at SAIC when I began this piece. It was the last in a line of undergraduate self portraits featuring the coat.

Here I am at Salmon River Falls in upstate New York, in a photo taken by my cousin Chris. This image is from 2002.

Jumping forward a few years here – This photo was taken in the winter of 2007/2008 just after I moved to Missouri to start teaching at Mizzou.

And now today in my studio with a dodecahedron below it.

This coat has been a great companion for me. I’m going to celebrate it by following in the footsteps of Diebenkorn, who famously created a series of etchings based on his own old coat for a special volume of W. B. Yeats poems (If you’ve got a few grand, you can purchase an edition – there’s one left – here). I want to dwell on that coat and where it has been with me. Keep an eye open for some paintings and/or drawings to appear soon.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! #36years