Becoming the Student #9: Michael Winters

Posted on April 14, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life

Michael Winters is the Director of Sojourn Arts and Culture in Louisville, KY. I got to know him when I had a two-person show at the gallery he formerly directed, The 930.

Recently Michael stayed at our home while coming through Columbia. He was a blessing, and a gentle soul to be around. I was glad to sit down with him to discuss art, life, family, and The National.

Michael Winters, Digital drawing, Dimensions variable. 2014. Created with an Adonit Jot Touch 4 in Sketchbook Pro on an iPad Air.

You can see a video of part of the process of building this digital painting here.

It was a powerful couple hours talking to Michael. There was a great deal of vulnerability and humanity on display in our talk, but perhaps that is best represented by our shared love of bands like the The National:

On The National:

“Over the last year I’ve listened through all their albums heavily again. And with the new one that recently came out, I feel that the instrumentation is just so precise. So spot on. And his (Matt Berninger) voice fits it, too. At first, a few years ago, I thought his voice was – without careful listening – a little hokey. But that changed. I take it seriously. It’s for real.”

Favorite Line on The National’s “Trouble Will Find Me“:

“Everything I love is on the table…”

On the Power of Music:

“There are no short cuts. It only works because it makes you pay attention.”

On Art:

“If artwork is not going to emphasize craft then I’m going to expect a lot of it conceptually. So often that seems lacking. I’m looking for serious content.”

On an Under-known Musical Artist He Loves:

“Somebody pointed me to an album by Austin Crane under the name of Valley Maker. All of the songs on it related to the book of Genesis, but it’s all done really well. There’s a lot of interpretation there and getting into the mind of the characters. His most recent album, Yes I Know I’ve Loved This World, is very personal, very kind of first-person; his songs, his stories. I think it’s extremely profound. It’s just good song writing.”

On my Digital Portrait of Him:

“It’s wonderful to be seen.”

Thank you for visiting, Michael!

Becoming the Student #8: Joel T Dugan

Posted on April 3, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life, Teaching, Writing

Joel T Dugan is an amazing painter and educator who works as a professor at Fort Hays State University in Kansas. A few weeks ago my family had the honor of hosting him for a few days and the time we spent together in the studio were some of the best drawing hours I can remember. Our conversation ranged wide. We spoke of everything from “ignorant faithfulness” to the “chase” aspect of painting. Especially beneficial to me was sharing our experiences in teaching. It was an epic evening.

Portrait of Joel T Dugan, Digital drawing, Dimensions variable. 2014. Created with an Adonit Jot Touch 4 in Sketchbook Pro on an iPad Air.

On Reality and the Ignorantly Faithful

“In terms of reality… I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the notion of individuality and that how we perceive worth can be so saturated with our own assertions we might experience certain things as so much more impactful than anyone else could.

What do we know? What do we expect? What do we allow to resonate? In my life, so many things have happened – circumstances have aligned themselves, so many nuances have taken place – that you almost wonder if there’s a Suspect at work, something that we might call fate.

But the very notion of fate is so saturated with the hoax-y, with… the ignorantly faithful, those who… allow themselves to… view things in terms of a Divine Plan or Divine Timing while not… taking responsibility for their own choices and motivations. That’s also about not being willing to accept any of the obvious cues that something might not be what we think it is. It’s often a cover up for really not wanting to engage with deep concerns. “

On Perception and Ignorance

“I wonder about perception. I wonder a lot about what truly is valuable. But then you just completely get lost in the kids and it’s always a great release to see that pure innocence and awe. I fear for my kids, that they’ll lose that wonder.”

We’re all subjected to selective ignorance. We utilize that state by default without even knowing it. We’re creatures of comfort in the sense that we love to feel like we’re right. It makes us feel like our efforts are fulfilling, that our existence is poignant.”

On Painting as Existential Chase

“I question myself about the impact of the things that I do, questioning what is the true exchange that takes place when creating art. Being able to share, or even just include, the viewer in the mystique of the work, of that chase… that very much is a kind of lustful relationship. And I just keep thinking to myself that if I could get closer to that same feeling of epiphany, of surprise and recollection that takes place when you struggle with doubts and failures – even after absolute trust and immense security – and you think to yourself ‘I’m a fool. Today is not the day’ so you turn away, put on your coat to leave…. But then you glance back. And you think, ‘That’s not too bad. You know what, with ten more minutes that could really be something.’ And after all the rest of that time it’s almost like you stole it. Almost like you took something that was just a failure and you ripped it from the hands of mediocrity and re-purposed it. If that moment could be shared with everyone you would never have doubt that it was worth it. But how the hell do you do that without just saturating it with your own judgment?”

On Teaching

“One of the hardest things about teaching is asking people to be both more accepting of judgment and more confrontational with opinion. I just love seeing the light bulb turn on in their heads. You lay the cheese in front of them and they think they found it themselves; that’s when learning how to learn takes place.”

If you ever get a chance to spend time with Joel, do it. He’s a man of faith, family, and joy. My daughters really fell in love with him and he gave them such positive attention and care. Our youngest, CaiQun, asked, “Can Mr Joel could be a part of our family forever??”

Mr Joel and CaiQun working with the Sensu Brush in ArtRage on Joel’s iPad.

Joel breaking down one of Eric Norby’s paintings.

On the Drawing I Made of Him:

“I’m glad you love my head.”

I was blessed to get to hang out with Joel for a few days – everyone is better for a few hours with the guy. Thank you, sir!

Becoming the Student #7: Tom Seagraves

Posted on March 24, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life

Tom Seagraves is a man used to procedures and business plans. He’s a man who has worked in both management strategies and the soft logic of human relationships. A few years ago he took his decades of experience and began building a MAC Tools franchise here in Columbia, MO. He is now among the most productive toolmen in the company, ranking at the top in Missouri and in the top 120 nationally. His success is gaining recognition; recently Tom had an editor for Professional Distributor (a trade magazine) ride out with him on his rounds. He’ll be featured in an upcoming edition of the publication.

While drawing him for my Becoming the Student project, I took the opportunity to learn about his perspective on work and community.

Tom Seagraves, Graphite on Stonehenge, 21 by 22 inches. 2014.

On Building His Small Business:

“It’s satisfying to know that I built it from scratch. There was no one before me who handed it off. My customers are my customers. I didn’t acquire them from someone else. That’s been very satisfying.”

On Small Business and the Relationships it Creates:

“Operating a small business is hard. It is very hard. It feels like you get penalized – the better you do, the more taxes are tacked on. That’s the part that’s hard. But relationships make it all worth it. The relationships are the part that I love about it. I’m on a route, so I see the same guys every week. I’ve got those guys I love to see and we’ve got such great relationships. That’s really the fun part of what I get to do. And to have that trust develop; to have those guys to trust me. You know, if I suggest something to them: ‘Hey, this is a new thing, it costs this much, but you really need to have it and here’s why.’ All those guys just say, ‘If that’s what you think, I better have it.’ That trust and connection is huge to me.”

On Competition and Making a Difference:

“Competition is good for everybody. It’s good for the customers and it keeps us on our toes as business owners. I think the big lesson is that you can always learn something and you can always grow. But the other thing is that I’ve had opportunities to be used – I think by God – in other peoples’ lives. In the position I’m in – the relationships I have with a lot of people in this town – I think there have been days I’ve been able to be an encouragement. You get those days where you look at the clock and think, ‘I’ve got to hurry, I’m running late.’ But then there are those days where for some reason I’m ahead of schedule and I don’t know why. It seems like every time, that day, there’s someone who needs me. And then I’m able to have a conversation with someone about something they’re dealing with on a really deep level. It’s not every day, but those times happen. When I’m done with that I’m able say, wow, the Lord really worked that out. I’m so thankful to be used in those situations. Just with one word or in five minutes… that could be important for a guy. It’s easy to look at yourself and think you’re not making a difference in anyone’s life; you’re just making a living, just paying your bills. You get tied up in the mundane and then something happens. God cares about what happens, cares about the people I see.”

Tom and I also talked about the nature of art and portraiture. During our discussion I was able to break down a little bit of what the Becoming the Student project is about:

“It’s more than about making a nice picture for Grandma’s fridge. I mean, for the rest of our lives, when we see this drawing we’re going to think about this time. The drawing gets funded – it’s an investment. It’s an investment in relationship. It’s an investment in friendship and brotherhood. It’s an investment in intellectual history and proximity. It’s an investment in all of those things and, of course, that’s what it’s for. Drawings and paintings – artworks in general – have never merely been for accoutrement. They were always a way to mark time. They were a way to say, ‘We were here; we did this.’ So in that sense, this piece will not mean much to anyone else. But when we look at it, it’ll matter more. It’ll be different. Just in general I think it’s a very basic human urge to say, ‘This has happened and I know it. I have seen this thing, or I have read this passage or I’ve heard this song. It happened.’ I mean, the background of so many great songs is remembering. When you hear the song… you remember. It’s very similar for the makers and subjects of artworks. Learning from the people who sit for me will catalyze meaning in the artworks that result. I want to spend some time parked on that idea.”

I guess that’s a nice segue into the fact that some of the first Becoming the Student works will be on display at PS Gallery here in Columbia, MO! If you’d like to see the works in person, be sure to stop in (click the image below for more info)!

Becoming the Student #6: 2nd Corporal, 3rd Missouri Infantry, CSA

Posted on March 18, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life

Jeremy Grove is a man who loves family and history. Through some interactions with friends a few years ago he ended up witnessing a Civil War reenactment event. In conversation with the participants he found that he wanted to participate as well. Soon thereafter he joined a Confederate reenactment unit. I asked him if he was a secret Rebel, but he had ancestors who fought on both sides in the war. Jeremy had a great, great, great grandfather who marched for the Confederate States of America with General Shelby’s Iron Brigade, while another was among the first Union soldiers to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

2nd Corporal, 3rd Missouri Infantry, CSA (Jeremy Grove), Acrylic on paper, 27 by 22 inches. 2014.

Jeremy on Reenacting for the Confederate Army:

“A good thing to come from my participation in reenactments is that we highlight a time when slavery was an issue. The reality is that human trafficking is still an issue; slavery is still an issue. And if, through my portraying a Confederate soldier, I can have conversations and engage with people – and ultimately raise awareness of the reality that human trafficking is perhaps worse now than it has ever been in history – then I feel that it’s a good way to use history to learn from our past and make a change.”

On the History of War:

“Sobering and horrifying. All wars are wars about resources, nothing more.”

As we dialogued through the evening, our topics ranged from specific events during the Civil War to the idea of state sovereignty, from public history to personal history. Jeremy’s discursive narratives on the battles and movements of governments and armies as they impacted Missouri was amazing. Later on we moved into eastern European folklore, film appreciation, the Large Hadron Collider, faith trajectories, China, Japan, and hardcore table-top gaming. We rounded things out sharing our experiences of the adventure of marriage and the glory of parenting.

Each moment of our talk was charged with intensity and meaning; there were so many quotable, memorable moments. Jeremy’s energy, passion, and desire to live with awareness and thoughtfulness is inspirational. He’s a good man. Thanks for sharing so many grand histories, ideas, and laughs with me, sir!

Becoming the Student, #5: Captain America

Posted on March 11, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life

Daniel Glosson (brother to Billy) is another young, passionate guy that I know. I always enjoy sitting down with him. Recently married, working multiple jobs, serving in the community, and trying to work out his faith and beliefs in the world, Daniel is an energetic force of nature.

Glosson (Captain America), Colored Pencil and Gouache on Stonehenge, 15 by 12 inches, 2014.

On Art

“I think art is incredible. But I don’t value the idea over what’s right there in front of us. I definitely miss stuff all of the time and I hate that, but when someone shows it to me I’m blown away. If an artist is trying to make a statement but isn’t doing anything about it that makes me angry. I guess I’m practical to a fault. When I see a problem I’m driven to do something about it, not simply represent it or use it as inspiration.”

On Working at Schilb Antiquarian

“I’m so fortunate. I love the job. It’s awesome. I want to attain the same love for the store and the books that Scott has. I’m trying to learn all I can. I love the chance to just browse through these books, read them. It’s amazing, and now that I’m looking at all these old books and trying to wrap my mind around it, I can really see this expanse of human thought over the centuries. They way they thought, they way they progressed in terms of understanding and rationalization. We just have all this stuff, these records of peoples’ thinking and processing. The questions of what do we value most are all there, and you can see how people have approached it, be it fantasy or escapism or cold, hard truth in the scientific or mathematical works. We even have an exorcism text from 1683, Flagellum Daemonum – literally “beat the devil”! – and it looks like it’s got blood on the cover. Wild.”

On Eucatastrophe

“I think death is extremely beautiful. I love tragedies.”

On his Captain America shirt

“I’m not really a patriot.”

On Michael Bay and Thomas Kinkade

“Fortunately there are two things you and I both loathe – and I think it’s hilarious – that’s Michael Bay and Thomas Kinkade. I think that’s the greatest thing ever. I don’t know if it’s great to bond over hatred but I remember talking to someone about hating Michael Bay movies and they said ‘you need to meet Matt Ballou!’ I’m so happy about that, just knowing there’s another. Those Transformer movies make me throw up in my mouth.”

On Looking Like Billy Corgan

“I don’t see it.”

Becoming the Student, #4: Billy Glosson

Posted on March 4, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life

In continuing the Becoming the Student project, I’m aiming to use different methods and mediums in building the portraits. In this piece, I focused on something tied directly to Billy’s identity and his presence in the world: his tattoos. I wanted to depict the color, the saturation, and the overtness of these artworks that have been put on his body. They’re really important to him as a way to tell a story and represent his deeply held beliefs.

Portrait of Billy (Fruit of the Vine), Pastel on Stonehenge, 19 by 22 inches, 2014.

Billy on his portrait:

“That’s really cool. I was wondering why you were staring at my midsection the whole time…”

Billy on maintaining awe:

“There’s not a method. I think our hearts are prone to becoming numb. Derek Webb has a song with a line that says ‘we love lovers less wild’ and I think that’s the truth. For me it’s about constantly coming back to the place where I’m asking God to reveal Himself. I want to create good longing in my heart. Difficult moments and hardships and conflict and frustrating things in my life point me back to grace. Another practical way is having people around me who can speak into my life; that’s been huge.”

Billy is on a quest to complete an entire sleeve of tattoos. To help him out, I suggested the classic image from The Cloud of Unknowing. I definitely think it’s skin-worthy:

Becoming the Student, #3: Bobby Schembre

Posted on March 1, 2014 by matt ballou under Art, Life

Bobby Schembre is a pastor, musician, questioner, lover of fine bourbons, and grill-master. In many ways we are different, but in many ways we are very similar… from the deepest hopes we harbor to the sorts of challenging questions we explore. Last week Bobby agreed to be a part of my “Becoming the Student” project. I greatly looked forward to our conversation. We moved through some intense existential territory over the course of our 2+ hour session. Some topics we touched on were: Pink Floyd and spiritual awakenings, how to understand the taste of bourbon and scotch, the nature of musical liturgy in contemporary Christianity, the glory and grace of our wives, and our experience of scientific awe.

Here is the resulting portrait:

Portrait of a Man (Bobby Schembre, 2/24/2014). Pastel on Stonehenge Paper, 22 x 24 inches, 2014. (Click for enlargement)

Bobby on musical liturgy and storytelling:

“I love the fact that we talk about how God is holy and untouchable and yet He’s here and gracious. It doesn’t make any sense really. Or that He’s indescribable and infinite and then we turn around and spend the rest of the service describing Him.”

“Part of the reality for me is that I can’t believe the bible or have a real experience of Christianity without being OK with deep tension. Everywhere, everything has a balance to it. Everything has a paradox involved in it. Nothing is just something you could put in a box and tie it up neatly and say, ‘I’ve got this.’ When we explore something about God there’s something else that makes us think, ‘well, what about this?’ And so one of the things I’m always thinking about in creating a musical liturgy is how can we expand the way we think about God, uphold the paradox, and marvel at the paradox of God.”

“I’ve been pondering my job as a ‘worship leader’ – which is just something we’ve made up – you know, what is this? I think part of the answer is that I’m a storyteller. I’m helping people think the story and sing the story of the gospel. It’s practicing a pattern.”

Bobby, with his manly beard and barrel chest reminds me of a few other bearded big men of history…

Famed Christian pastor and author, C.H. Spurgeon

Sculptor James Vibert by Ferdinand Hodler

Russian Composer Mussorgsky by Ilya Repin

Also, there’s this great Portrait of a Man from the collection of the Art Institute of Chicago. Click to check it out.

Thanks for being a part of this portrait series, Bobby!

Becoming the Student, #2: Glendy

Posted on December 21, 2013 by matt ballou under Art, Life

Today, during a visit to some old friends of ours, I had the opportunity to draw a quick portrait sketch of a wonderful young artist named Glendy. I was also lucky enough to sit for her to draw me as well.

Portrait Sketch of Glendy, Graphite on paper, 8.5 by 11 inches. 10 minutes.

Here’s Glendy drawing me:

Originally from Guatemala, she’s got the classic, royal features of the Maya. I love that open-eyed, focused observation. It resulted in the portrait of me below. I sat about 20 minutes for this drawing. I think it’s pretty great.

I also had the chance to sketch Glendy’s younger sister, Larissa. She was a picture of pensive thoughtfulness as she sat for me. Though she couldn’t sit as long as Glendy, I think I actually captured a better likeness. Graphite on paper, 8.5 by 11 inches. 7 minutes.

I asked Glendy to give me some word of wisdom about drawing. She said that drawing people was “just fun!” When pressed for additional information she seemed defiant, as if to declare that obviously “fun” ought to be enough. I think that confidence is an amazing part of her personality. Glendy’s got the clarity of her mom and the practicality of her dad. Good traits to have. Thanks for drawing me, Glendy, and thanks for letting me draw you!

PS: One of my favorite portraits I’ve ever attempted was of Glendy’s and Larissa’s older sister, Natalie. I made this piece back in 2006. I really love it, and was glad to see it again while visiting with the family. Natalie Reading. Oil on linen on panel, 26 by 24 inches.

Becoming The Student, #1: Shalonda Farrow

Posted on December 8, 2013 by matt ballou under Art, Life, Teaching

Starting this month I will be periodically posting a new series of portraits, beginning with the one below. The title of this series, Becoming the Student, is based on my desire to be quieter and learn from others rather than be entirely bound up in my identity as an educator. In Becoming the Student, I hope to present thoughtful, dignified portraits and use the time while creating the works as an opportunity to learn from the people who sit for me. With each post I will include some observation, quote, or other tidbit of glory that the subject shared with me.

The one below was created in 3 hours or so at a portrait workshop I conducted at The Columbia Art League yesterday. Pictured is my friend (and fellow CAL instructor) Shalonda Farrow. I was struck by how often she used the word “love” (as in: “Thank you, love” or “Do you need any of this, love?”) during the session. In speaking to her friends, she’s always intentional about communicating care and awareness. Shalonda seemed like a perfect initial entry into the Becoming the Student series. Here’s to many more. And thanks to Shalonda and the ladies at CAL!

Shalonda, 13 by 11 inches, pastel on paper. 2013.

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