Author Archives: matt ballou

Mix CD Era Glory

Posted on by under Life, Teaching

I make playlists every semester for my classes. These collections of songs are largely built from the ice-breaker/introduction discussion assignment I give to my students on the first day. I want to know what they listen to, what moves them, inspires them, sticks with them. And then I want to serve up songs during focused working time. With studio art classes at Mizzou lasting about 2 hours and 20 minutes, there’s plenty of time to get a vibe going. This way they can be both exposed to the things their peers love but also get the excitement of hearing their own personal deep cuts. I love the feeling of sharing some of my favorites with them, as well as discovering what “the youth” like today.

My interests in music are very eclectic, and that’s down to my exposure to so much variety through my students. But it didn’t start there. Below I am featuring a few of the most iconic Mix CDs I’ve been given over the last 25 years. I’m including Spotify playlists for each one. Go! Listen to them! In situations where the original song is not available on that platform I’m linking to YouTube videos.

I also want to shout out the amazing people who shared these four mixes with me. They are creative people and much cooler than I ever could be. I will link to some of their current projects. I’ll also talk about some of the tracks in each section and give some background on how these united groups of songs have stayed with me for a quarter century.

Ox-Bow 2001: DANCE, DANCE, DANCE – Eric May*

Created in 2001. Spotify link to this playlist.

  1. Armand Van Helden – You Don’t Know Me
  2. Folk Implosion – Nothing Gonna Stop The Flow
  3. Outkast – So Fresh And So Clean
  4. Outkast – Ms. Jackson
  5. Stardust – Music Sounds Better With You
  6. Beck – Beercan
  7. Beastie Boys – Sabotage
  8. Deee-lite – Groove Is In The Heart
  9. Daft Punk – Around The World
  10. Fatboy Slim – The Rockafeller Skank
  11. Madonna – Ray Of Light
  12. Groove Armada – I See You, Baby (featuring Gramma Funk) – Fat Boy Slim Edit
  13. Daft Punk – One More Time

I had a fellowship at Ox-Bow for three months in the summer of 2001. It was a very important time for me. A lot changed in me. You can read about my experiences here.

Ox-Bow is a lot more institutionalized now. Back then, it was a true bohemian type situation. What happened at Ox-Bow, stayed at Ox-Bow. The vibe there was a hold over from the 60s and 70s in a lot of ways, and this was before the world was really turned on its head by the US response to 911. The internet was still new and slow, there was practically no social media, and almost no one I knew had a cell phone. It was just a different time. There was room to go a little wild as well as room to explore your own thoughts and perspectives.

One of the best things that we did at Ox-Bow was have intense, blow-out parties every weekend. The cohort of fellowship residents did work during the main part of the week (maintenance, housekeeping, kitchen duties, etc), so when we partied, we went hard. A large meeting tent would be raised in the central field, a few turntables would be installed, and speakers deployed. Then our resident DJ, Eric May (with help from others) would spin records and CDs deep into the Michigan night.

I discovered a lot of great music that summer (The Beta Band, AIR, Massive Attack) and fell more in love with acts I’d always liked (Mazzy Star, Radiohead, PJ Harvey, Cat Stevens). Most of that stuff wasn’t being played at the parties, though, as they’re a bit too contemplative and musically less conducive to drunken dancing and themed costumes. Hence, the mix we all left with was something closer to late-90s college party than artsy hipster fare.

We definitely burned some calories to these songs…

*Eric checked in with me about this mix – he mentioned in the comments that Mikey H. and Reid T. had a larger hand in crafting it than he did! Shout out to Mikey and Reid! Reid has gone on to an amazing career as a scenic designer and has an amazing portfolio of exceptional design work. Go check him out!

FHS’s Mix – Fred Sturkey

Created in 2002. Spotify link to this playlist.

  1. Archers of Loaf – Scenic Pastures
  2. Kitchens of Distinction – Railwayed
  3. Drop Nineteens – Winona
  4. Gang of Four – Cheeseburger
  5. Gang of Four – Paralyzed
  6. Talk Talk – Eden
  7. Television – Marquee Moon
  8. Kitchens of Distinction – Gorgeous Love
  9. Kitchens of Distinction – Drive That Fast
  10. King Crimson – Larks’ Tongues in Aspic, Part 1
  11. Talk Talk – It’s My Life
  12. Butch Walker – Hot Girls in Good Moods
  13. HUM – Green to Me
  14. HUM – The Inuit Promise
  15. Kitchens of Distinction – Polaroids
  16. Drop Nineteens – Kick The Tragedy
  17. Drop Nineteens – My Aquarium
  18. Kitchens of Distinction – Under the Sea, Inside the Sky

Fred Sturkey worked with me at Good’s of Evanston. I started overseeing shipping and receiving for the art and frame store a couple weeks after 911 and about 4 weeks after the end of my Ox-Bow residency. I’ve written about Fred a bit before, and was very sad when he died in 2019. He was a high quality human, and was always happy to hold forth about music or politics, history or philosophy. Just a gentle, sweet guy.

This mix CD is one of the greatest gifts anyone has given me. This introduced me to HUM and Talk Talk and Kitchens of Distinction, three bands that have been in my life ever since. So different from one another, but totally unique and important. KoD is particularly interesting as a group from the late 80s/early 90s that championed the expression of queer relationships and perspectives. They did it in a matter-of-fact way, with a sense of imagery and poetry that draws the listener into shared human experience. I really love the texture of the guitar sound and the soaring vocals.

Structurally, the mix isn’t tracked perfectly, but it stands out for me purely because of the music it introduced me to. I’ll be forever grateful, Fred. RIP, sir.

The Art is Hard Mix – by Nikki Maloof

Created in 2004. Spotify link to this playlist.

  1. The Starlight Mints – Submarine #3
  2. Wilco – She’s A Jar
  3. Appleseed Cast – Fishing The Sky
  4. The Shins – They’ll Soon Discover
  5. Mike Doughty – The Rising Sign
  6. Rilo Kiley – It’s A Hit
  7. Nick Drake – Northern Sky
  8. Spoon – Anything You Want
  9. The Long Winters – Scent Of Lime
  10. Phoenix – Run, Run, Run
  11. Owen – The Ghost Of What Should Have Been
  12. The Smiths – Cemetery Gates
  13. Badly Drawn Boy – Once Around The Block
  14. Clem Snide – Better
  15. Modest Mouse – Paper Thin Walls
  16. Paul Simon – Mother and Child Reunion

Nikki is a successful artist who was also in the first drawing class I taught while in graduate school at Indiana University. She was dedicated, confident, and effortlessly cool. Those qualities have stayed with her as she built her career, had kids, and mounted major international shows of her work. She gave me this CD after we compared notes on music in that class, and she really got me hooked on The Shins, Spoon, and Nick Drake. An interesting combination of indie rock and mainstream(-ish) alt-pop, this mix is just a rich, comfortable listen. There are some great gems here, like Soul Coughing’s singer/creative engine Mike Doughty’s solo work in The Rising Sign.

The Close to Totality Mix – Tina Casagrand-Foss

Created in 2008. Spotify link to this playlist.

  1. Yeasayer – 2080
  2. Blitzen Trapper – Black River Killer
  3. Spoon – Bring it on Home to Me
  4. Donovan – Celia of the Seals
  5. Old Crow Medicine Show – Cocaine Habit
  6. McLusky – Day of the Deadringers
  7. The Pixies – Down to the Well (Peel Session)
  8. Queens of the Stone Age – Someone’s in the Wolf
  9. Sigur Ros – Fonklogi
  10. Serge Franklin – KKK
  11. Saul Williams – List of Demands (Reparations)
  12. Blur – Out Of Time
  13. Ugly Casanova – Spilled Milk Factory
  14. Modern Lovers – Pablo Picasso
  15. Ima Robot – Paint the Town Red
  16. Kings of Leon – Pistol of Fire
  17. Johnny Greenwood – Proven Lands
  18. Tom Vek – That Can be Arranged
  19. The Black Keys – Till I Get My Way
  20. Radiohead – Idioteque
  21. Miwa Gemini – Traveling Man
  22. Foo Fighters – Stacked Actors

Tina has an amazing energy. She’s a true go-getter, someone who is actively working to make the world better. As the founder and managing editor of The New Territory, she’s forging a space for the stories of the people and places that make up the Midwest to shine. She was a stand-out in my classes way back when, and she’s always a treat to collaborate with. I have written for The New Territory and made artworks for the magazine, as well as spoken at the Missouri Scholars Academy, which is one of Tina’s favorite annual summer projects.

This mix is highlighted by driving, raging, bloody tracks like the Peel Session version of Down to the Well by The Pixies, Saul Williams’s – List of Demands (Reparations), Ima Robot’s intensely violent Paint the Town Red, and Pistol of Fire by Kings of Leon. There’s definitely some serial killer vibes going on in this mix, but interesting moments of calm are interspersed throughout (Donovan’s Celia of the Seals or Blur’s Out of Time). There’s a variety of attitude in this mix – some of it is very serious, or even anxiety-producing (Greenwood’s Proven Lands or Williams’s List of Demands) – while other songs are tongue-in-cheek or just hilarious (Modern Lovers – Pablo Picasso or Miwa Gemini’s Traveling Man) I like the range of time across the tracks, as well as the tension between related genres/styles.

It’s loaded with bangers, all-time classics, and deeper cuts that stand the test of time. I’ve kept bringing these songs into my classroom since the day Tina handed the CD to me!

For some reason, the track order that was burned onto the CD itself is not the order that Tina wrote on sleeve – I ended up listening to it wrong for all these years…

The best part about these mixes is that they are palpable, physical artifacts made for me. Sure, we can listen to the music without the object, but the object is proof of something. It was there with me, and it was there with the people I mentioned. It shared space and time with us, and it travels along with us. The meaning is not only in the music, it’s in the fact of human interaction and sharing deeply human concerns.

Marvin Glenn Smith, 1942-2025

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Matt Ballou, Portrait of my Father, Marvin G. Smith. Oil on panel, 20×16 inches. 2014.

Marvin Glenn Smith died on Tuesday, August 12, 2025. He was 83 years old. Marv was born on May 24, 1942 in Camden, NY. He loved Studebaker cars, bawdy blues music, and the aircraft of World War 1. In many ways these things framed the contours of his life.

Known for his love of fast cars and racing, Marvin survived a horrible accident at the age of 19, an event that left him with extensive, permanent injuries. He spent the rest of his life going to auto shows, attending and watching races around the country, and collecting manuals and other materials related to cars and the racing world.

Mom and Dad, mid 1970s.

Marv went on to a long career at Camden Wire, working in the quality assurance area, where he was able to use his sharp skills in analysis and mathematics. He took an early retirement in 1995, eventually settling north of Camden in Empeyville, NY.

It was at this time that his decades long passion for studying World War 1 became a main focus for him. He filled his time with reading and research, amassing a collection of WW1 books, objects, documents, firearms, and art. He traveled extensively to explore military history at museums and trade shows, but perhaps most cherished was his trip to Germany in 1997, where he visited many battle sites first hand.

He had a unique personality – a calm, pleasant demeanor with a touch of nihilism sprinkled in. He would constantly drop catch phrases into conversations: “Nothin’ serious” and “Another day in paradise” came up often. As a “live and let live” Libertarian, Marv often found himself at odds with the dominant, invasive politics of his adult life. Though a quiet, reserved man, he always enjoyed conversation and could hold forth about the blues or history any time. He loved discussing items in his WW1 collection and possessed an exhaustive knowledge of the people and places of that time.

My last chat with my dad, 2025. Photo by my sister.

He is survived by his sisters Linda (Leon) and Martha, his children Walter, Matthew (Alison), and Stacey, and many grand kids. He was preceded in death by his parents and beloved daughter Denya. At Marvin’s request, there will be no funeral service.

My sister Stacey was able to retrieve a piece of dad’s WW1 trench art, a 50mm artillery shell decorated in a floral motif with an eagle. This will serve as dad’s urn when he is buried in his family plot. It’s wild – and sort of perfectly poetic – that something made by a young man in the tumultuous trenches of a world at war 110 years ago, will now go into the ground in upstate NY with my father. In a way, he got to take one part of the collection he built over a lifetime with him.

Colonial Debris, Imperial Fragments – A Catalog

Posted on by under Art, Life, news, Writing

I’m pleased to announce the publication of a catalog about the exhibition that Simon Tatum and I had at Vanderbilt University last year. Working with Oswaldo Garcia at The Riso Room, housed within Mizzou’s School of Visual Studies, I was able to produce a slim volume that highlights some of the work and writing that Simon and I produced for this show. We hope to take the exhibition around to other venues, and these catalogs feel like a great physical supplement to proposals. Click below to take a look inside.

The images show representative examples of the work we include, as well as updated texts that give an overview of the history and context we’re working within. I’m excited by how the risograph process has captured the documentary quality of Simon’s work and the surface development of my own pieces. I love the way the back cover shows Donald Crowhurst’s final coda, “IT IS THE MERCY.” Taken from his logs, this is Crowhurst’s actual writing reproduced.

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy for $25, please send payment via one of the options below:

Ten Years of Seizing the Sixth

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Ten years ago today the great Eric Sweet passed away. It’s right and proper that we keep celebrating him with art and memories, and with hearing his voice reverberating over time.

Today I went into the printmaking room at The University of Missouri and placed a lithophane in the widows there.

The idea for this began a few years ago while playing with my drawing robot. I wanted to try different line modes in various images, and happened to throw in a picture of Eric. One of the resulting works was this small ballpoint pen piece:

Head of Sweet. Ink on paper, 5×3 inches. 2022.

The piece I’ve hung today is intentionally related to Sweet’s MFA thesis works, which featured embossed relief and required specific lighting to be seen. Click here to see examples of these works (and a cool picture of Eric in the very printmaking room where my lithophane is now hanging). The portrait of Eric I’ve made is designed to be somewhat inscrutable unless strongly lit from behind. In the documentary images I’ve posted below, you can see the image is barely visible. I have included some shots with a flash on so you can see the relief dimension of the piece.

Ten Years of Seizing the Sixth. PLA, printed on a FlashForge Adventurer 5M. It’s 7×5.25x.25 in size. 2025.

It’s important to maintain the reality of those who have passed on. This is as much about keeping ourselves real as much as it is celebrating their lives. In reminding ourselves of others’ lives, in being creative in that remembering, we find and define ourselves. Keeping Eric in the world through making and practicing attention is a way of honoring him and the values he held.

Ten Years of Seizing the Sixth. PLA, 7×5.25x.25 in size. 2025.
This is what it looks like with strong illumination behind the lithophane.

POR VIDA!

Posted on by under Art, Life

Nine years ago today I experienced cardiac arrest, and I started a journey to becoming a new person. One of the ongoing fun bits related to my heart attack and eventual recovery, was that my friend – famed bookstore co-owner, and local arts organization legend – Kelsey finally accepted the reality of narwhals!

You see, it – the existence of narwhals that is – had been a minor contention between us for quite a while (see above image). I’d mention the unicorn of the sea and she’d push back. But when I woke up from my ordeal and began sorting through the notes, good vibes, and other well-wishes I found a Post-It note from Kelsey. On it she drew the beast and wrote above it, POR VIDA – “for life!” She told me that since I’d pulled through, she could accept the truth of narwhal-kind!

I’ve kept Kelsey’s Post-It note up all these years, right there in my kitchen where I can see it daily. But this year I felt it was appropriate to take it to the next level. I’ve commissioned a local tattoo artist to bring Kelsey’s drawing to life on my very flesh!

Once it is healed up I’ll add a nice shot of it to this post. I’m grateful to people like Kelsey, who have given me so much joy and hope in humanity over the years. She is a true community spirit, someone who understands kindness and laughter. And I’m proud to carry her drawing with me – on me! – from now on, a reminder to seize the day, be happily present, and to embrace the wondrous absurdities all around us.

New Publication: Heaven Replied

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One of my favorite prints (and a few words) has been reproduced in this new book from Renascence Books., located in Nashville, TN. The book is an anthology of work related to Gaza/Palestine from 30 artists around the globe. 100% of profits will be donated to mutual aid for Gazans. See the blurb from the back of the book below, and follow this link to purchase your own. This book is the creation of a diverse group of people who have a variety of connections to Gaza/Palestine and who come from many different faith traditions and worldviews. But we’ve come together to make a visible, physical artifact of care and support for real folx on the ground over there. They should not be forgotten in all of the vitriol and political obfuscation. Please, support the effort and the artists within this hopeful book if you can.

I offer my work for this project as a prayer that agency, protection, and hope may soon return to this ancient land, that mothers may soon cradle their children in safety, that fathers may soon sing ancient songs to them with confidence and joy.

Everyone deserves peace and a home.

It’s Day 13. RIP to Ray Johnson

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Not Nothing – Ray Johnson

See this fantastic blog from 11 years ago linked below. A nice tribute to Ray Johnson, who died on this day in 1995. He was a strange, unique man. At the intersection of queerness, neurodivergence, and mental illness, Johnson lived his whole adult life as an artwork. The amazing documentary How To Draw A Bunny (click the title to watch it), is a celebration of this one-of-a-kind life. Every semester I show this to my 2000 level drawing students as a way to demonstrate how mature artists create a vernacular of form and idea in their works, a way of creating and speaking that forms the architecture and language of their art. Ray’s life (and even his way of dying, in a sense) was inspirational.

Day Thirteen- Ray Johnson- Not Nothing

Painting Watercolors in 2003 in Evanston, Illinois

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In March 2003 I had been working at Good’s of Evanston for about 18 months. I worked there after earning my undergraduate degree, and at the time was getting ready to get married and head to grad school.

I worked at Good’s with an amazing cast of characters: Ronnie Boykin Junior, David Gracie, Micah Ebbe, Fred Sturkey, and so many others. One of the people there was Jeremiah Ketner, a man who has gone on to a long and fruitful art career. One day I saw Jeremiah’s coffee cup and we mused together about coffee sometimes being a main meal during the work day. I decided to paint a view of his so-called lunch.

Jeremiah’s Lunch 3/14/2003. Watercolor and graphite on paper. 5×6 inches on 14×11 sheet. 2003.

As the Shipping and Receiving Manager, I often had some time between shipments to make art in my little office. I loved that space. Did a lot of thinking back there.

A picture of me in my shipping and receiving office at Good’s of Evanston. 2003.

During this time Alison and I lived in a 3rd floor apartment that had this amazing accumulation of paint and interesting architectural details. Of course, anyone who has lived in Chicagoland is familiar with paint slathered over outlet holes, quirky entryways, specific brick hues, and questionable back stairwells. We had arches throughout the apartment, and I found myself ruminating on them between doing more “important” work. I made my whole portfolio to apply to grad school in that apartment. It’s strange to think that these two small watercolors ended up being special to me. I wouldn’t have guessed it at the time.

Arching Corner. Watercolor and graphite on paper. 12×11 on 14×11 inch paper. 2003.

Anyway, as we round out another year I find comfort in these small contemplations. Maybe the lesson is that all of my grand attempts to make statements or contribute to important conversations weren’t the best or most effective offering I could make. Maybe it was the fact that I noticed and paid attention to the poetry of spaces, moments, in-between time, and life being lived that really mattered.

Rush and Nostalgia for the Future

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Growing up I found intense comfort in the music and lyrics of the iconic Canadian band Rush. Rush hold a particular place in the history of rock music, as they were both iconoclastic and unapologetically moral and humanist in orientation. Their songs were not the realm of edge lords or shock rockers. They didn’t make songs about sex, drugs, violence, or stupidity. Much to the contrary. They thought deeply, expressed those thoughts intensely, and were able to stand out in completely unique ways because of the quality of their unified talents.

Rush pioneered rock music as an intellectual pursuit. They were compelling because they stood on principles, and communicated deep commitment to human concerns without couching it in schmaltz. You can sense honesty in their dedication to their musical craft and in the meaning embedded in the lyrics Neil Peart wrote.

John Dewey, a central philosopher of the pragmatist movement, established much of the foundation surrounding art as a moral structure in society. Don’t misunderstand me; I don’t mean propaganda or dogma being used within art to influence or instruct. I mean deeply human values translated into actionable expressions of yearning and awareness.

“Anthem of the heart and anthem of the mind
A funeral dirge for eyes gone blind
We marvel after those who sought
Wonders in the world”

–Anthem

In Rush we see full expressions of a world where reason, empathy, and the better angels of our nature have had free reign. We find artifacts proving the best human capacities for love, attention, and hope.

When I think back on what inspired me and what stuck with me for all of these years, I think it is the sense of hope and expectation that they created. Actually, maybe hope is the wrong word… I think yearning might be a better way to describe it. Hope, in a sense, lacks agency. It sees life as something that happens to a person rather than what a person chooses, navigates, or constructs for themselves and alongside others.

“They travel on the road to redemption
A highway out of yesterday, that tomorrow will bring
Like lovers and heroes, birds in the last days of spring
We’re only at home when we’re on the wing
On the wing

We are young
Wandering the face of the Earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we’re only immortal
For a limited time”

–Dreamline

Yearning, on the other hand, is motivational and self-actualization in process. It’s visualization. It’s being the change you want to see in the world. The ability to reflect, imagine the world you want to inhabit, and take real steps to make it real in some way… that’s yearning. It’s the combination of instinct and clear-sighted determination.

-Kramer, on Seinfeld Season 3 Episode 23, ‘The Keys’

In some very real ways, Rush was the soundtrack to my own determination to at least TRY to expand my world. To get educated. To travel. To live as an artist. To read, think, and feel deeply. Songs like Middletown Dreams and Subdivisions called me to broaden my horizons. The lyrics of Dreamline and Ghost of a Chance made me dream, and then helped me transform those dreams into practical plans.

“Dreams flow across the heartland and feeding on the fires
Dreams transport desires
Drive you when you’re down
Dreams transport the ones who need to get out of town, out of town”

–Middletown Dreams

“Like a million little crossroads
Through the back streets of youth
Each time we turn a new corner
A tiny moment of truth”

–Ghost of a Chance

One of the other realms that Rush inspired me to think about and explore more fully was science. As a young person I was exposed to young earth creationism and other forms of science denial. Songs like Natural Science and, later on, Earthshine, prove that transcendent awe and appreciation for the wonders of the universe are not the purview of religious belief. As I read about the science behind everything from evolution to astrophysics, I unlocked a sense of astonishment and pure joy that had not been available to me before. In reading folx with diverse perspectives, from Stephen J Gould and Annie Dillard to Douglas Adams and Ellen Dissanayake, I found that there was a way to be excited about the glories of space, time, and biology without appealing to supernatural explanations. There’s so much that we can see, hear, touch, measure, and practically explore without needing to imagine things outside of the universe to justify them all.

“Wheel within wheels in a spiral array
A pattern so grand and complex
Time after time we lose sight of the way
Our causes can’t see their effects”

–Natural Science

In some way, the feeling that I’ve always had while listening to Rush is a kind of nostalgia for a past dream of a future where good truths prevail. Where the right thing is done, and everyone can see it. Where the light of knowledge is appreciated. Where attempting to understand “life, the universe, and everything” is given the highest of accolades, appreciated more than fleeting beauty or physical ability. Where honesty, good faith, and mutual aid are seen as true societal values. I think that future is possible, and I think we are actually closer to it than we’ve ever been as a species. In a time where this country is divided and anxious, it’s easy to think that future is not possible. But it objectively is. This is the best time to be alive for most human beings.

Click here to hear Jason Pargin talk about this reality

This Thanksgiving week, I’m thankful for the world, for life, for music, and for Rush. Here’s a link to a playlist of some of my favorite songs they’ve made:

October Comet

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This October has been an amazing time to see the cosmic scale on display. Comet Tsuchinshan–ATLAS passed through, giving us multiple viewing opportunities each night after sunset. It was here some 80,000 years ago, and “the most current calculations from NASA’s Solar System Dynamics group show that it is on a hyperbolic path, meaning that it will not return.”

October 13, 2024
October 13, 2024
October 14, 2024
October 14, 2024
October 16, 2024
October 18, 2024

Click the images above to see them larger.

The beginning of the third week of the month was best, with some striking observations made possible with a short exposure time. Each night the viewing has been a little more difficult, and the tail a little shorter, so it may be beyond easy spotting very soon. It’s worth it, though. Once in a lifetime event here, folx.

I’ve gone out each night just to put my eyes on this ancient thing. Perspective is a quality that exhorts and propels the human heart. Seeing our conflicts and passions in the light of cosmic time and distance offers us the chance for true reflection.